Usually when I say that...I'm angry. I'm in more of a contemplative funk. I've been thinking about where I am in life and what I want to do next. And I've come to a conclusion....I have no idea.
I was reading Helen Drigg's flashcard and she quoted Lew Wackler as saying to acheive master status at something you need to put in 10,000 hours. And this got me thinking about where my life is going.
Do I concentrate on my job? I'm rather good at what I do...which mostly involves crunching numbers. I'm good at math. In college we had the option of not going to calculus class if we could pass the standardized tests. So I skipped class, taught myself calculus and passed all the tests with A's. I sometimes wonder if I should have gone for a degree in Math rather than Biology. But at the time I was headed for a career in the medical laboratory. I've been at my current job for 12 years. Given an average 8 hour day....I've put in close to 25,000 hours. I've definetely acheived master status.
Then there's the jewelry. I whine alot about the fact that I work a full time job and have limited time to design. But it's a fact....that I whine and that I have limited time. I estimate that it would take me about 20 years at my current rate to acheive master status. Now that's depressing. Especially since I ping-pong back and forth about the techniques and styles I want to focus on.
So I am contemplating the future...the shows this summer drained me. It was hard to prepare for them, do them, and work.. And each day I take as PTO to do a show is a day of vacation that I won't be taking to spend time with Lou.
I'm in search of balance and direction.
6 comments:
Sorry you're "conflicted". Take some time to contemplate your "crossroads". Having come from the corporate world, I found we were acting and deciding at 100 mph. Once I've retired, I find that when I'm faced with a "dilemma" sometimes a bit of time letting it percolate gives me some options. It's a luxury I rarely afforded myself when working, and it does seem to help. Feel better! (Yes, that 10,000 hour thing freaked me out too!)
Susan is right. Let it percolate. I know your dilemma all too well. And once I decided I wanted to concentrate on the jewelry, I looked to see how early I could retire (thus giving me an income while I build up the income from the jewelry biz) and put that as my target date. It's now just 8 months away. But when I first decided on that path, it was several years away. Let things simmer in the back of your mind and you may find there are options you haven't thought of.
And by the way, just because you are good at something doesn't necessarily mean you want to keep doing it forever. As I used to tell my mother, I'm good at doing lots of things. For instance, I'm good at washing dishes. But I sure don't want to do that for a living! ;-)
Gail, I face some similar challenges, so I can really relate to your post. I used to inflict lots of deadline and timelines on progress with my creative endeavors. I'm much happier now that I've decided to just trust that it's all going to work out. I work hard at my job and I work hard on my metal clay and polymer clay creations with just about every spare minute. But, I will also just STOP and spend time with my husband when I'm feeling burnt out.
I, for one, refuse to focus too much on that concept of becoming a "master". I think we are all on a continuum. You are producing amazing results today. You may not be a "master" but people value your work and they are willing to pay you for it. As you continue to hone your craft, your work will get even better. You'll discover new techniques and experience the joys and frustrations of being a newbie all over again. Through all of this, I seriously doubt that you will ever wake up one morning and figure out you've become a "master". There's always more to learn, but you are just fine where you are today and tomorrow and tomorrow after that.
Breathe!
Gail, I face some similar challenges, so I can really relate to your post. I used to inflict lots of deadline and timelines on progress with my creative endeavors. I'm much happier now that I've decided to just trust that it's all going to work out. I work hard at my job and I work hard on my metal clay and polymer clay creations with just about every spare minute. But, I will also just STOP and spend time with my husband when I'm feeling burnt out.
I, for one, refuse to focus too much on that concept of becoming a "master". I think we are all on a continuum. You are producing amazing results today. You may not be a "master" but people value your work and they are willing to pay you for it. As you continue to hone your craft, your work will get even better. You'll discover new techniques and experience the joys and frustrations of being a newbie all over again. Through all of this, I seriously doubt that you will ever wake up one morning and figure out you've become a "master". There's always more to learn, but you are just fine where you are today and tomorrow and tomorrow after that.
Breathe!
Thank you all for the words of support and wisdom.
Relax, enjoy. Let it happen. Don't stress about it. Maybe the thing to do is not to push the shows so hard and spend more time developing the work. Savor it. With your "day job" you can do that and not have to depend on the shows for a living. If you look at it from the right angle, you'll see the luxury. You can still do shows, with no need to have them all crammed in together. Although you may not see it, your efforts are paying off. Your work has grown and you are finding a voice.
I stopped doing lots of craft shows after 10 years of it burned me out. It's a tough life and I really respect those who can maintain it. Look into more gallery work and select just a few shows you really enjoy. It might prove more satisfying for you.
Everyone is different. You'll find the balance. Like Wendy said... Breathe ;-)
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