Usually when I say that...I'm angry. I'm in more of a contemplative funk. I've been thinking about where I am in life and what I want to do next. And I've come to a conclusion....I have no idea.
I was reading Helen Drigg's flashcard and she quoted Lew Wackler as saying to acheive master status at something you need to put in 10,000 hours. And this got me thinking about where my life is going.
Do I concentrate on my job? I'm rather good at what I do...which mostly involves crunching numbers. I'm good at math. In college we had the option of not going to calculus class if we could pass the standardized tests. So I skipped class, taught myself calculus and passed all the tests with A's. I sometimes wonder if I should have gone for a degree in Math rather than Biology. But at the time I was headed for a career in the medical laboratory. I've been at my current job for 12 years. Given an average 8 hour day....I've put in close to 25,000 hours. I've definetely acheived master status.
Then there's the jewelry. I whine alot about the fact that I work a full time job and have limited time to design. But it's a fact....that I whine and that I have limited time. I estimate that it would take me about 20 years at my current rate to acheive master status. Now that's depressing. Especially since I ping-pong back and forth about the techniques and styles I want to focus on.
So I am contemplating the future...the shows this summer drained me. It was hard to prepare for them, do them, and work.. And each day I take as PTO to do a show is a day of vacation that I won't be taking to spend time with Lou.
I'm in search of balance and direction.